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It was clear to me that the trip, in that sense, was a waste; Fergus was never going to accept me as his sister.Aedan held out his arms, and I collapsed forward, weeping. It was only a few moments before we were joined there by Alistair and Zevran; my husband dropped down behind me, pressing his chest to my back and sandwiching me between him and Aedan; Zevran took one side, taking the journal from my hand and leaning forward to press a kiss to my cheek and then Aedan’s. I didn’t move, merely sat there and let them hold me until I ran out of tears.Finally I sighed. “I’m such a drama queen.”Alistair choked on a laugh, and I chuckled. I was suddenly exhausted. It wasn’t even lunchtime, but my eyes felt as heavy as if I’d been up all night. “I suppose they’re all looking at me, too.”Zevran sat back and swivelled his head around briefly. “Maybe at first, but they’ve all gone inside now, mia sorella. You’re fine.”“I’m going to need to go back there eventually, but ... I don’t think I can. ..and Kevin, a few hours earlier. A few months ago I would have felt self-conscious about what had just occurred. Now I found myself empowered by it. Whether it was my maturation, the gained experience, or the cocaine, I was becoming more comfortable with my sexuality. After having only had sex with one man for the four previous years, I had now had sex with seven men in a matter of six months - not counting my ex-boyfriend. My sexuality was no longer stifled, and I craved more. To be honest, I enjoyed the attention. Sex was validation that I was desirable, popular, accepted - all things I wanted to be. I was also enjoying the sexual variety my life had been lacking before. I had listened to friends recount their various experiences: hook-ups, men, dick sizes. I had always been jealous but also comfortable with my (then) boyfriend. I could now join that conversation. Speaking of conversation, there was plenty of it amongst Jimmy, Kevin, and myself. I found that I became.
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